While browsing a baby community board, I noticed a woman's post, wondering why so many other woman on the board were unwilling to make healthy sacrifices for their unborn children. True, many others on the board admit to continuing to smoke and drink alcohol. The woman who posted about this wondered very politely why moms weren't abstaining for the sake of their precious babies, for even the finite period of 9 months. Let's just say she took A LOT of heat for her post. Other moms wrote in very defensively and rudely and verbally lashed her up one side and down the other. I don't reply to posts very often, but felt moved to do so on this one. I told the original poster that I agreed with her. One of the others defended her position by stating that she usually smokes 2 packs a day and was down to 5 cigarettes. It seems she was rather proud of herself. Another said she 'only' drinks 1 glass of wine per week and that is done in other countries all the time, without ill effects. Really?! I mean, really?
Oh my, how easy it is for some people to rationalize their wants. In church we have been talking about "the pain to abstain". Yes, sometimes it is painful to abstain from our wants. But when there is good reason & good cause, it is important and very worth it. These women believe that their cigarettes and alcohol are worth taking a risk with their unborn babies' life. And they aren't even willing to suspend their wants for just 9 months. We live in a world now that celebrates the "all about me" lifestyle, where our wants are expected to be paramount to that of others.
The thought makes me sick. I choose differently. Yes, I enjoy a glass of wine. But my baby is far more important to me than wine. You see here in this post a photo of my hands. My severe eczema typically only affects my feet. This pregnancy, it has chosen my hands as well. Holding a pen to write has caused my knuckles and fingers to crack open and bleed. You will notice I have no rings on. My fingers began to swell from the inflammation so badly that my last ditch effort to remove the rings was to ask Dan to cut them off. To keep the wounds from becoming infected, I pour hydrogen peroxide on them daily after I shower. And yes, it stings, but it is effective. Now, the pain to abstain...in my bathroom drawer lies a prescription ointment that will clear my eczema up in three days. I have been told to use it if the benefits outweigh the risks to my unborn baby. To which I respond: what benefit could there possibly be that would be greater than my child? None exists.
The other photo you see is of a purple foot. Mine. It is purple from vericose veins, which I am afflicted by primarily during pregnancy...each pregnancy. I know with each desire to conceive that if God blesses me with a healthy pregnancy, my right foot, leg, and all the way up will turn purple and ache. In this photo, I am 24 weeks pregnant. The color and ache will increase as I get further along. Is my comfort worth more than the child God blesses us with? No, absolutely not. And what about the women who choose not to abstain from their alcohol and cigarettes for the sake of their unborn babies? I look at them & find another thing to abstain from...these community boards where selfish women demean those with a healthy perspective. Au revoir, community boards. I'm happy I don't belong. And it turns out the "pain to abstain" often isn't that painful at all. It's all just perspective.
December 11, 2012
My day began normally. I planned to run a couple errands to do some Christmas shopping with Gabby and Evie. We were on schedule. At 9am, I went outside to pre-warm the car, taking Paisley, our 2 yr old black lab, with me to go potty. It was then that my day began to resemble a really bad country song. Without graphic details, let's just say I discovered Paisley has tapeworms. I hurried back into the house to get a disposable container I would never care to see again, and used a shovel to collect a fecal sample. Leaving the sample outside, I again returned indoors to call my husband, and then the vet. The vet confirmed that what I saw was indeed tapeworms. All of this was shocking to me. We keep Paisley on flea meds, heart worm meds and in our own yard. I had never experienced this before in all my years of pet ownership.
An entire hour later, I had spoken with my husband & our vet, and reset a new course for us that included an out-of-the-way trip to the vet for medicine. No fecal sample was required, so I had subjected myself to that experience needlessly. Finally we were on the road. We picked up the medicine at the vet and drove to our Christmas shopping destination.
As we got in the car to go home, my cell phone rang. It was the children's school. Lily needed a change of clothes brought over as soon as possible. I said I was on my way. I looked at the clock and stressed. There was just enough time to drive home and make lunch for the babies so I could get them down for nap on time. Stopping by home, driving to school, & driving back home would put a serious crimp in my schedule. Still, Lily needed those clothes, so we went.
When we finally made it home to stay, I looked at the clock and still tried to salvage our schedule, needing the babies to nap. So I rushed through preparing lunch, serving & eating lunch, through clean up, & diaper changes. As a pregnant mommy, I was delighted to see that we were only off our nap schedule by 20 mins! That meant I could take a short nap during part of their nap....and boy did I feel like I could use one! I had to skip story time, but got Gabby & Evie tucked in their beds and then crept off to mine. A short while later, before my alarm could even ring, I was roused by the sound of Gabby talking, yelling, singing, and simply being quite loud. One of the things she was calling out was "Evie!" over and over. She wasn't sleepy and wanted company in her wakefulness. I resigned myself to getting up, feeling tired and cranky. Once downstairs, Evie managed to get into everything she shouldn't, pulling DVDs off the shelves and irritating Gabby by grabbing for whatever she had. I managed to get 1 load of laundry folded, medicate Paisley and unload the dishwasher before the bus arrived. Not too shabby. Today the older girls had dance right after arriving home. The children had time for a quick snack and then it was time to load up and head out. I grabbed my purse from its usual spot on the kitchen desk, picked up Evie, and loaded us all into our van, locking the door behind me. After buckling Gabby & Evie's seat belts, I reached in my purse for my keys....which were not there. I checked to see if they had fallen to the floor. Nope. I checked to see if Gabby or Evie had grabbed them or were sitting on them. Nope. I knew we were late now. I hurried to the back door, hoping perhaps I'd left it unlocked. Maybe my keys had dropped to the floor in the house. No, the house was locked like Fort Knox. And there, through the window, I could see my keys...sitting where I had not set them, just staring at me. I went looking for the spare key where my husband said he placed it, and did not find it. I cut my losses. I couldn't get into the house, but I knew there was a spare car key hidden under the van. So, 5 month pregnant belly and all, I laid on the ground and slid under the van to reach the key. Success! We were late, and I couldn't get into our house, but I could get my older girls to dance. As we neared the dance studio, I started laughing out loud. I was thinking of my absurd day...tapeworms, derailed shopping plans, change of clothes at school, out of whack schedule, no naps, and locking myself out of our house. It reminded me of the stuff a really bad country song is made of!
Despite the absurdities of the day, I reminded my children (who had asked why I was laughing) that we all have tough days sometimes. But even on our tough days, God gives us many blessings. Our car worked, we were all safe, the medicine Paisley needed was available & we could buy it, I brought my daughter her change of clothes before too much time had passed, got my girls to dance, and my husband was home when we pulled in the driveway after dropping them off. It could have been very different. I thank God we are all safe and that Dan was working locally today. Today left me 2 choices...laugh or cry. I chose to laugh because I chose to remind myself of my blessings.
Sidebar: The vet said Paisley contracted tapeworms by ingesting an infected flea. Thankfully the medicine will heal her in one dose, and she is not a danger to anyone else, including the children.
